I am Coming To Town...

I am so excited, I will be home tomorrow. I love Christmas. For the past ten years I have loved when my dad comes home with all of his teacher gifts. I have always rummaged through his stuff, and wished I had my own teacher gifts. I just got my own official teacher gifts. It was so fun. We through a Christmas party and as the kids were leaving they told me it was the best Christmas party ever. It is moments like this that reminds me why I became a teacher. I will see you all soon!!!

I am Thankful For

I just had an amazing weekend at home with my family and friends.
This year I have so much to be thankful for:
My family, who drives me crazy, but without I would not be complete.
My friends Lori, Brandon, Juni, Avery, Jeni, Daniel, Leslie and Steve for the wonderful weekend they showed me........Friday was awesome. Thanks a million!
My wonderful boyfriend who makes living in southern California worth it.
Mark for being my friend and always remembering to call me on every holiday.
Bean for being one of my only constants in life. I'm sorry we didn't get to hang out this weekend. I love you!
My class for continuing to inspire me to become the best teacher I can be.
My only friend in Ontario Nancy for keping me somewhat sane.
Everyone else who has touched my life and changed me in some way.
I am also thankful for:
My education, having a place to sleep, enough to eat, and never really having to worry about what my life will be like tomorrow. Seccond chances, new experiances, love, rediscovering myself daily, challenges, and so much more. Treasure each day as a present!

A Fallen Hero

Today I found out that one of my "heroes" passed away. I am still in such shock I don't think it has hit me yet. As most people know I spent every summer growing up at a camp located on Kirkwood Lake. There was this girl that was 3 years older than me, which now doesn't seem like any difference but as a teenager seemed huge. Her name was Rina and her camp name was Sierra. Sierra was a very special person who was very mellow and calm. She was one of those people that you hung out with and they just made you feel relaxed. I loved spending time with her and she always had the best advice. I would tell her about boy troubles and girl drama and she always seemed to know what to say. I remember one time (I was probably 16) I was sitting by the lake thinking and wondering if I would ever find a guy. I remember thinking I would be alone forever. Rina came up behind me and started telling me a story about this guy in her dorm room who saw a picture of me and asked if he could meet me. I never even told her what I was thinking about but her comment made me feel a million times better. I remember thinking it was like she read my mind. Looking back, I am not even sure if there was a guy but to a sixteen year old girl, it was the best thing she could have said. I looked up to her so much. She moved to Montana and became a highschool teacher where I am sure she touched the lives of many 16 year old girls. I hadn't spoken to her in a few years but I always hoped that we would get back in touch again. I thought about her often. She recently took her own life. Most of me is sad, but part of me is angry. How could such a beautiful person not realize how wonderful they really are? I wonder if she thought about all of the people that she may not talk to every day, but who still hold a very special place in their hearts. Maybe it is a sign, that we should slow down and really make sure to tell people how much we love them and how special they are. It is funny how people from your past can impact you so much and when you hear something so tragic like this, you can revert back to that lost sixteen year old. I just wish she was here to comfort me again. Sierra you will be truley missed. Thank you for being one of my heroes.

Devistation in a whole new light

So, I came home yesterday. We flew over the mountains, black smoke encircled the plane and the sky turned orange. After some very bad turbulance we landed. I walked out of the plane and the heat instantly hit my body. It is in the mid to high nineties here. I looked out and you could not even see the huge mountains that overlook our city. Ash and smoke consume the air. The sun was completely red and the smoke was so thick you cold look straight at it without even wincing. Luckily, the wind seems to have stopped so this morning I could see the mountains. As I opened my door to get in my car this morning a huge cloud of ash filled my lungs and eyes. The wind was blowing so hard that it blew the ash through the vent into the car. Loren's car was filled with ash too. The kids at school are not allowed to play outside because the air quality is so poor. We are lucky though, we are the only school district in the area that is still in session. Fire has ripped this area open and people are left with ruins. The one friend I have made here lives up on the mountain and on Monday they were given one hour to grab their things and evacuate. She has no idea what is happening at her house and is currently living at the Hilton for God knows how long. Her daughter who lived two miles from her has been notified that she has lost everything. Her home is in ashes. My friend sits around waiting for the phone to ring hoping it is not her insurance company notifying her that she has lost everything. She calls her house to see if the answering machine picks up (the only clue that the house has not been burned down). I feel so bad for her and her family. The sky is still orange and everything is covered in ash. A half million people in San Diego have been evacuated and are living in the Charger stadium. It really puts everything in perspective and makes me realize how lucky I truly am.

I can't believe tomorrow is Tuesday!!

So, I have been in Pleasanton for a little over a week now. I go home tomorrow. I don't want to go. I have had so much fun this week: Coffee with Lori, dropping the kids off at school, heading to the park, sushi, cuddles with my sister, fighting with my dad, Raider games, trips to Costco, learning the local drama, pizza with Bean and her family, hugs from Jeni, waiting for the cable guy. It's so funny. There is really nothing special that happened, really it was almost as if nothing had changed. That is why it is so hard to leave. I can't wait to move home.

My Car

Okay so I know that my car is a piece of shit. I mean it is green with a maroon hood and red interior. I wrecked it once and everyone knows I don't exactly keep it immaculte. However, I got it for free, it gets me from point A to point B and it gets great gas milage. I think our cars reflect who we are. I may appear to be a mess but really inside I have a lot to offer. The other day Loren took my car to work so that the new car wouldn't get dinged. Well, I guess someone hit it and amazingly left a note on the car. At first I was really shocked and a little restored in the human race. Then I found out that hidden under the door handle was another note that someone else wrote saying so and so hit your car. Still I had hope that maybe there really are good people in the world. So I contacted the lady via e-mail and thanked her for leaving a note. Then I asked for her information. She replied that she would like to meet in person (still giving me no information). I told her that I did not think that was necessary and that we could do it all over the computer. She said she would have to talk to her husband beause she didn't want to file a claim, she wanted to pay out of pocket. Fine. Today she wrote me and said that she only scratched the paint and that she didn't do the damage to the fender and bumper. She says that her car (a suburban) was too tall and it could never have done that damage to my little car. I guess I don't know for sure that she did it being that it was parked in the parking lot. But, I do know the damage was not there and now it is. I know she hit my car harder enough that someone else left a not saying that this woman had hit my car. She also hit it hard enough that she felt it necessary to leave a note. I also know my car is tin and I dented the hood by sitting on it. So, the way I see it any tap from a suburban would cause some sort of ding to my car. So, I don't believe the dent was caused by anything else. I know that to most people look at my car and think what a piece of shit. I am also sure that she figures why the hell should I pay her money when the rest of the car looks like hell. I also am greatful she left a not but she also told me that she saw a passer by write the note and put it somewhere on my car. This makes me think her reasoning may not have been genuine. Part of me just wants to let it go becasue it is a huge hassel and hte car does look like shit. Part of me thinks you have already come this far you should see it through. I am so frustrated.

Another Day

I watched Lori's video of Avery and my heart sang; he is so smart. He is getting so big. I just feel like I am missing so much. One more week and I will be home. I am so excited. I can't wait to get coffee and go to the park with Lori, the kids, Jeni, her kids and anyone else that is around. Bean and I are going to dinner and my sister has called me every day this week planning all of our adventures. I can not wait!!

With All My Free Time.....

I have been feeling disconnected to well, everything so I thought maybe this would help. I like living in Ontario: jobs great, Lo and I are doing WAY better than I thought we would, I love having my own place, little things like grocerie shopping and going to the costco still make me happy, exploring the world of living with someone and truly learning to rely and trust them has been amazing. However, I miss having friends: people to just hang out with, drink wine and talk to. Poor Loren has got to be so sick of listening to me ramble on about school, my lack of friends and the five million other things that race across my mind on a daily basis. I keep telling myself it is just going to take time but until then it is just lonely. It does not help that Loren and I work completely different schedules so most of the time, when I am off, I am sitting home alone. He has tried to work his schedule so that he has weekends off but something always comes up and he's off. Yesterday it was a player signing. This morning we were woke up at 7 to one of his employees calling in sick. So, here I sit drinking my coffee and listening to my music (that is one good part about being home alone I can listen to my country music=)) wishing I knew someone to call and meet up with for coffee. Maybe I am just spoiled, I have not had a sunday in a very long time that did not consist of meeting up with someone for coffee. When I lived in Chico I met with Sammy, Megan and Mark and in Pleasanton Lori and Jeni were always up for a coffee run. Alright enough bitching.
Last night the winds kicked up for the first time. At 300 the banging of wind against the side of the apartment woke me up. I layed there for a while trying to go back to sleep but the rushing air seemed to be calling me. I went and stood outside feeling the gusts of air rush around me and I can honestly say it was a new experiance. The air was warm and extreamly powerful. I just kept thinking "wind is a crazy thing, it makes all this noise, I feel it moving around me but there is nothing to see." I guess I have never thought about wind before, but I have never been in wind storms like this before either. Because our apartment is in the middle of the complex the wind seemed to go in all directions. I looked down the alley to the street and I could see these huge dirt clouds roll down the street. It was pretty amazing. Since, I couldn't sleep anyway I went online and looked up what exactly caused the winds. It turns out it is the warm air from the desert meeting with the cool air from the ocean adn the mountains and as they meet they run down the mountains and through the valley. Well, something like that ( I told you it was 3 in the morning). It seemed to answer my curiosity because after that I crawled back into bed and fell right to sleep. This morning I sat outside and drank my coffee and enjoyed my "new friend" , the wind.